User:Queenfeline/ASlipOfTheTongue

This is the wiki page for the (CR) meetings hosted by me, Feline :))

Code of Conduct

Language is not just a list of words but a system of power that we uphold and reinforce everyday with speaking. I want to create collective speech acts that invite reflection, exchange, and co-creation of meaning. It is not about change in language its more about noticing the sexism in language and using language as a tool to stop the sexist cycles and ways of speaking. Its about stopping the constant shaming and proudly reclaiming or rephrasing terms for selfempowerment.

Taking the Idea from Consciousness-raising groups (from 1970s feminism): the personal is political – sharing experiences creates political awareness.

These meetings are a space for shared reflection, rethinking, listening and learning. We come together to explore how language shapes our understanding of ourselves and the world around us. Speaking about ones language can be a vulnerable subject. Noticing that the way you speak holds sexism and other forms of oppression can be uncomfortable and in order to make these meetings a space where everyone feels safe and heard to learn and reinvent, I came up with a code of conduct. It is not a set of rigid rules, but a shared agreement that can be transformed as we go.

We prioritize emotional safety, empathy, and mutual respect. We acknowledge that these conversations can touch on painful experiences, and that discomfort can be part of learning, but harm or disrespect are never acceptable.

We listen to understand, not to respond or shame. We allow space for silence and reflection. We don't interrupt each other. We recognize that every person’s relationship with language is different, shaped by culture, gender, race, and class. We see that as enriching for the discourse.

We speak from our own experience rather than generalizing or assuming. We use “I” statements to describe how we have internalized or witnessed sexist language, and what it means to us. There are no “wrong” realizations or levels of awareness.

We approach ourselves and each other without judgment. We are all learning to recognize and unlearn internalized sexism. Mistakes are part of the work and we hold space for repair, reflection, and growth.

We value difference and see it as enriching the conversation.

No single person owns the conversation. Ideas and insights belong to the group. Language and meaning are collectively shaped and we credit and respect each other’s contributions.

As the moderator and participants, we continuously reflect on our roles, assumptions, and privileges.

We welcome feedback and are open to revising our methods or language including this code of conduct.

With attending these meetings we agree to the documentation and sharing of the meetings. Participants have the right to remain anonymous or opt out. Consent can be withdrawn at any time.

We will read the code of conduct out loud every time we start a meeting to refresh our memory on these agreements. This also opens the space to discuss the code and adjust it accordingly.

Meetings

10/11/25 – hey guys

This was the first prototype of these meetings. It was with XPUB2 only and we talked about 'hey guys' (Here the wiki page). I noticed that some of us (including myself) used that term quite frequently. As time went by and my knowledge on sexist language grew, I became more and more uncomfortable with saying it myself but also being called that way. So I opened the discussion and with that tested a meeting structure that was:

1. Are you using this term? If yes, how are you using it?

2. describe the feeling the term evokes – "When I say it, I feel...", "When I hear it, I feel..."

3. How can we redefine the word to all our liking? How can we make everyone feel included?

4. after input: Has your perception of using the term changed? If yes, how?

The meeting went so well. I was pleasantly surprised. Everyone was engaging a lot and sharing their opinions. I noticed that an hour was too little time, as I had to rush through the input and it was more a me presenting it rather than a we discover together situation. That I will definitely change in future meetings.

15/12/25 – female

1. Are you using this term? If yes, how are you using it? If no, why not?

2. Describe the feeling(s) the term evokes – "When I say it, I feel..." "When I hear it..."

INPUT

3. Has your perception of the word changed? – over the course of your life? after the input?

4. Next steps – How do we want to proceed? Reclaim, avoid or find alternative or ...?

5. Open questions, confusions or comments?

6. Reflection on meeting